COUNSELLING

Events That Shape Our Lives

Chances are high that you have experienced a trauma. You may not think of the experience as traumatic, however many seemingly benign experiences can affect us for years to come. As children we were often powerless over our environment and felt alone when processing our experiences. Without having the ability to logically rationalize our way through these events, they stay with us as trauma. At its essence, trauma is an obstruction of emotional processing. Once you are able to break through that event, you start moving toward healing.

The way we grew up influences how we view everything in our life. The events of our childhood can keep us stuck for decades. Unfortunately, many of our parents just did not know how to properly emotionally support us. Anytime we are overwhelmed and unable to cope and process our emotions we hold on to that experience.

Trauma – more common than you think. Some less obvious examples:

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Feeling stupid and having that reinforced as true by parents, teachers or kids at school

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Being ignored

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Pressure to be perfect

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No boundaries or rules

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Embarrassment

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Never measuring up to a certain standard

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Poverty

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Too many rules

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Being compared

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Harassment

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Rejection

Symptoms of trauma, anxiety and depression:

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Low mood/depression

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Hopelessness

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Low self-esteem

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Rapid mood changes/mood swings

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Extreme/unexplained anger and/or sadness

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Sleep problems and/or nightmares

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Emotional detachment or numbness

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Persistent and/or intrusive thoughts

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Flashbacks or upsetting memories

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Appetite changes

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Hypervigilance

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Anxiety

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Suicidal thoughts

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Aversion to activities

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Avoidant behaviours

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Relationship difficulty – arguments, lack of connection, difficulties being intimate

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Panic, fear and/or uneasiness

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Feeling hard to breathe/breathlessness

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Difficulty concentrating

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Sabotaging your success

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Disturbing thoughts or feelings

“If you trade your authenticity for safety, you may experience the following: anxiety, depression, eating disorders, addiction, rage, blame, resentment, and inexplicable grief.” — Brené Brown

Time Heals Everything – FALSE!

The truth is that time does not heal everything. More often we ignore and discount our struggles and then find ourselves feeling angry, distant and/or hopeless. The truth is that we need help to move through the events in our lives so we can have lasting and positive change.

The nature of my approach combines teaching theory, feeling your feelings, providing assignments between sessions, experiential exercises (meaning having an experience versus a discussion), broadening your perspective and getting curious about your unconscious thoughts and belief system. This brings the counselling to your life to create permanent change.

“If we can share our story with someone who responds with empathy and understanding, shame can’t survive.” — Brené Brown

The first step of empowerment is choice and choosing
how you deal with trauma puts the control back with you.

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