Events That Shape Our Lives
Chances are high that you have experienced a trauma. You may not think of the experience as traumatic, however many seemingly benign experiences can affect us for years to come. As children we were often powerless over our environment and felt alone when processing our experiences. Without having the ability to logically rationalize our way through these events, they stay with us as trauma. At its essence, trauma is an obstruction of emotional processing. Once you are able to break through that event, you start moving toward healing.
The way we grew up influences how we view everything in our life. The events of our childhood can keep us stuck for decades. Unfortunately, many of our parents just did not know how to properly emotionally support us. Anytime we are overwhelmed and unable to cope and process our emotions we hold on to that experience.
Trauma – more common than you think. Some less obvious examples:
Feeling stupid and having that reinforced as true by parents, teachers or kids at school
Pressure to be perfect
No boundaries or rules
Never measuring up to a certain standard
Feeling alone – not having friends, or having friends and losing them and not knowing why
Too many rules
Symptoms of trauma, anxiety and depression:
Rapid mood changes/mood swings
Extreme/unexplained anger and/or sadness
Sleep problems and/or nightmares
Emotional detachment or numbness
Persistent and/or intrusive thoughts
Flashbacks or upsetting memories
Aversion to activities
Relationship difficulty – arguments, lack of connection, difficulties being intimate
Panic, fear and/or uneasiness
Feeling hard to breathe/breathlessness
Sabotaging your success
Disturbing thoughts or feelings
“If you trade your authenticity for safety, you may experience the following: anxiety, depression, eating disorders, addiction, rage, blame, resentment, and inexplicable grief.” — Brené Brown
Time Heals Everything – FALSE!
The truth is that time does not heal everything. More often we ignore and discount our struggles and then find ourselves feeling angry, distant and/or hopeless. The truth is that we need help to move through the events in our lives so we can have lasting and positive change.
The nature of my approach combines teaching theory, feeling your feelings, providing assignments between sessions, experiential exercises (meaning having an experience versus a discussion), broadening your perspective and getting curious about your unconscious thoughts and belief system. This brings the counselling to your life to create permanent change.
“If we can share our story with someone who responds with empathy and understanding, shame can’t survive.” — Brené Brown
The first step of empowerment is choice and choosing
how you deal with trauma puts the control back with you.